Looking back
A lot of my boys younger years are a blur and I’m not sure
if that’s because it was so long ago or if I’ve intentionally put those
thoughts somewhere so deep in my brain under lock and key I can’t find them.
My eldest was eight when his first brother was born, nine
for his second and ten for his third. Yes
you read that right! I had three boys in three years and a gorgeous older boy
that enjoyed the ride. (I hope).
I battled postnatal depression with my last two boys and I remember
feeling ripped off because this was supposed to be the most enjoyable
experience of my life, what I had dreamed about and had experienced with my
last two babies.
I got help, I spoke to my GP and I attended the Raphael
Centre (counselling service). It was hard, so pain stakingly hard. I talked to
my close friends about what I was thinking and feeling. THANK GOD FOR THOSE
CHICKS! Over time it got easier and I started listening to the recommendations
made to me to make sure I was taking care of myself. I can not put into words
how amazing my husband is riding this wave with me, he is my rock!
When Orlando was diagnosed we were in the middle of building
our dream home and the six of us were living in a three bedroom townhouse, OMG
that makes me laugh. I remember the fun of 3 toddlers and a ten year old that
loved all the chaos. In our house we have always done musical beds and I have
fond memories of last minute mattress dragging so that one of the boys could
sleep with a different brother. I also have memories of tears and frustration
when Orlando discovered poo, yes that’s right poo. Because of Orlando’s sensory
issues he hated the feeling of poo in his nappy so if you missed it he would
wonder off and smear it like wax on, wax off on whatever he could find. Orlando
also loved water it could be a small puddle, a bath, the sink, the toilet it didn’t
matter where he just loved to splash. One day we had to get a plumber out
because Orland had waved goodbye to a number of his toy dinosaurs as he flushed
them down the toilet. (Orlando loves listening to and sharing these stories
with anyone that will listen LOL)
After Orlando’s diagnosis we started a series of therapy. We
had an Occupational therapist, speech therapist and a psychologist. I will
never forget or be more appreciative of the support we have received over the
years from therapists. We are truly blessed to live where we live.
Please share with me some of your own fond memories of your
kids and the fun you had when your babies were toddlers. We all need to laugh.
I would also like to add that if you or someone you know is
battling with depression it is important to ask for help. You are not alone, I
was there and still battle with the black dog on occasion. Speaking with your
GP or maternal health nurse or even a dear friend or family member can make a
big difference.
Thanks for reading
Jess xx
Other resources that may help are
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